The Greatest Bands of all Time

I have been facebooking about music and bands and such recently and I feel that I did not do justice to the subject, so I am here to write that wrong. In my love of music and its impact on my life I feel that I am entitled to have an opinion, and I consider it at least semi- knowledgeable. Do I feel snobby or do I like bands that no one else does, well of course I do, and every pompous ass does. I will say that The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and The Clash are in a class by themselves. I will elaborate



The Beatles – Why were they just the shit of all time? They made rock and roll and made it different. Yes you have Elvis and all of the others but they only took it so far. Chuck Berry and Jerry Lee Lewis will be doing the same songs for ever(same for Elvis if he were alive) The Beatles started as a Pop Rock band With Meet the Beatles to Revolver to Sgt. Pepper to Yellow Submarine to The White Album they Evolved changed and grew as their interests grew. They weren’t a Band they were The Beatles


The Same could be said about Led Zeppelin, they started out as a heavy blues Rock Band to Hard Rock to Acoustic to Physical Graffiti to In Through the Out Door . Every album was different and had a distinct voice and they never made the same album twice. Plus they had a kick ass Concert Movie that was a staple of Midnight Movies.


The Clash- Well they were the anti – punk, punk band they did not burn out and die, and they did not become an act (sorry Ramones). They started out as young angry political and inexperienced and wound up The Only Band That Matters. From Punk, to pop, to rock, to ska and dub and any and everything else The Clash tasted it all. Double Albums, Triple Albums, and singles they did what they wanted. This includes a short run on Broadway. I love The Clash


Now if you made it this far you are crazy as me or just bored to death. Now I bring it up again because as I was driving home tonight, some newer Metallica came on the air The Day that Never Comes and I think to myself, how different is this from Master of Puppets or the Black Album and I say not much really. Metallica is a great Band but that can’t be an all timer because to me at least the albums style and structure are all the same. You can’t tell me that James and Lars have not listened and grooved on new things, I am sure that they have but they have also made sure that none of it has creeped into their music. Hey I like, and used to love Metallica but they are like the girlfriend that never ever changed. I mean I listen to way more variety than I used to and while I enjoy a set or two from the boys I can also listen to other things I am not waiting anxiously for the new disc to drop. There are a lot of bands that fall into this category and could List bands like Aerosmith, Motley Crue, the Cure, U2(tried a little but not enough, Edge really only gets his sounds from effects and layers) Green Day etc etc. Now this does not mean I don’t like or even love them in some cases. It just means that you know what you are getting.


Now there are a few bands that deserve a mention either because they are overrated rated or even underrated. So without writing more filler then a Twinkie


The Stones- Now they are Great but they really have stayed too long to be respected unlike Aerosmith(not to say they are more respected just that they did become relevant again) who did have a second MTV type of career. Really if you even count Some Girls from 1978that was the last really good one, and they have put out a ton of shit that no one cares about. And they are Tour Whores who are just in it for the Money, and if you go see the stones for more than 50 bucks you should be smacked around.


The Crue and Van Halen – god you guys were so much fun all the chicks wanted to do you, and all the dudes wanted to be you. Great Front men with crappy voices some really good hard rock music (Halen better) and songs that just made you rock even though they really weren’t about much(especially VH) but such fun.


Costello – a personal favorite of mine Great Great song writer who has jumped around to so many styles that he can’t be pinned down. Sometimes they hit (Almost Blue and others) And sometimes they don’t (the Juliet letters) but he is an artist that keeps himself immersed in music and keeps coming out a different side. Love him to death.


Public Enemy – Great bombastic politically charged rap that defies anything before and most after, Just not long enough of a career.


Beastie Boys – Might Have to Look at them for the biggies I mean really from Licensed to ill. And the Greatest Hip Hop Disc ever Paul’s Boutique, To the 5 Boroughs playing their own instruments. Do that Dr. Dre.


I could go on and on and maybe I will I just had this in me and had to get it out.

Road House Rules

Roadhouse is the quintessential movies of the 80’s it belongs in the top of most every movie list. Now it is true that there are other movies that belong in that quintessential spot as well because that means that it belongs in the hall of fame of the 80’s movies. Now there are many movies that are good some that are very good and some are Hall of fame, think about how many movies were made and how many you can name so with much fanfare and delight here is the list of hall of Fame movies of the 80’s
Action Movies:
1 . Road House – Drinking and Fighting and martial arts Dalton is not that big but he still can fight one two three it does not matter, the best cooler in the business (next to wade Garrett) is ready to kick some ass at any point
2. Die Hard – Created the wisecracking action star, A one man demolition, crew that created more destruction than lives saved but it was worth it Yippee Cay Yeaah Mother Fucker
3. Terminator –“ I’ll be back”. Made Arnold the Man No Jokes just relentless. My name is Reese Kyle and you have been targeted for termination.
4. Empire Strikes Back – Leah rocks the Bikini, We meet Yoda, and Darth Cuts his own kids hand off. That is the Hard Core
5. Road Warrior - The man with no name, Ferrell Boy, Gyro captain, and Humongous Gay Punk Rock Bikers and custom cars looking for gas ”two days ago I saw a rig that can carry that tanker out of here you wanna leave, you talk to me”
Love Stories
1 . Road House – The romance between Dalton and Doc is so touching and breathtaking that it transcends love
2. Lethal Weapon – Come on we all know that underneath everything Riggs and Murtough were in love with each other.
3. Say Anything - But in fact it ruins the whole Genre, I mean really could anyone really ever be Lloyd Dobler? I do not think so, but now every woman really wanted that, thanks Cusack you dick
4. Sid and Nancy- Gary Oldman at his Best and the Sex Pistols, it’s over the top with a doomed romance but pure romance none the less.
5. Top gun – the stifled romance between Ice Man and Maverick just hurts to watch 2 men so obviously in love but because of military protocol it is unspoken and unacted upon
Comedies / Teen Movies
1, Spinal Tap – Eleven is louder than 10. Stonehenge and exploding drummers Big Bottoms.
2. Ghost busters – Come on, Dr. Peter Venkman is Funny end of story.
3. Fast Times at Ridgemont High – Spicooli, Damone, Hamilton, and Phoebe Cates topless
4. Heathers – Christian Slater, doing Jack Nicholson, High School Cliques and Dead “Gay” Football players
5. Breakfast Club- John Bender and his corruption of all the cliques in High School
Honorable mention – Road house –I thought you’d be bigger, plus you could be my Regular Saturday Night.
Drama
1, ET –Help, the dude he needs to get home and the government won’t let him. I thought we didn’t allow illegal aliens in the country
2. Raging Bull – Yeah I fucked your brother, and I sucked his cock, and his cock is bigger than yours.
3. Road house – What will happen between Dalton and Doc, or Dalton and Wesley, or Wesley and Red. It is never ending drama in Jasper.
4. Scarface – Yes it is over rated and should not be here but you have to give it to Al and Michele Pheipher
5. Platoon – Come on Chris was Vietnam, from naive to cynical, from, good too bad the tension and love hatred and despair. More complete then Full Metal
Horror
1. Shining -Heere’s Johnny Jack at his best and Scatman gets an ax in his chest.
2. Henry Portrait of a serial Killer – I really use this as a hand book
3. Nightmare on Elm Street – Horror with the funny
4. Friday the 13th – Sorry Mrs. Voorhees But your boy Jason became the big star, but don’t worry he kept your head in the fridge so he would not forget you every time he got a soda
5. Near Dark – Vampires who travel the west in a Winnebago and kill people including man child, Homer and Bill Paxton as Sevrin. This movie is what the Lost Boys wanted to be but did not have the balls
As you can see by going through the list that road house comes up time and time again it is for this reason that Road House should be considered on the Hall of Fame and one of the quintessential movies of the eighties

In Search of the Perfect Shirt.

So I am here, where ever that is and I am wearing my standard three shirts, yes I know that it is summer and it sometimes gets hot and I will drop down to two shirts but that IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE RIGHT NOW. Ladies why must you insist on wearing sleeveless shirts all the time, are you showing us your lack of muscle? Well don’t because unless you are Linda Fucking Hamilton from T2 then there is nothing there. What, have a nice shoulder tat for us to see, well I have one too as does millions of people it’s not that original. Do you think it looks good? Well look around at some of boys walking around with their wife beaters and colored undershirts on do they look good? Most likely not unless they are jacked, even then they are probably just a meathead and have no brain. If that is your style then you are not mine. Well for a week or two but then that’s it. Anyway I like a sleeve and something that creates a little cleavage and covered the shoulder Men that we are, we are idiots and most of them will wear what you tell us to, so now that you have told your boyfriend or whoever that you did not like this and to wear that, well now it’s your turn.

Rule 1. Stop going out in Pajama pants you fucking slob it is disgusting and makes us all feel sceevy, I don’t care if you just got up, stop it.

Rule 2. Do something better to your hair please. Those hair up in a ball while there are loose pieces all around is really unattractive, I know you are saying it looked good on Pebbles Flintstone, well Pebbles is a cartoon you are not.

Rule 3. Flip Flops. – Stop wearing them. They do nothing to make your feet or legs more attractive in fact it does the opposite it makes you look squat and dumpy. Wear Sandals O.K. but flip flops come on, ask yourself this ladies “do you think Playboy models would wear flip-flops?” I don’t thinks so and neither should you.

Rule 4. Never combine rules one, two and three. Failure to adhere to this rule could cause severe punishment or even death.

Albums and their Covers

I am sitting here on my deck the lawn is moved the weeds are wacked (as I am) and its all blown away (insert own joke here please) just having a diet Pepsi and listening to Pandora as I look around the net and as All of My Love from Zep came on it reminded me or how cheated our little brothers sisters and children have become. And no I am not even talking about the greatness of Zeppelin which can be debated for hours but that might be another blog. I am talking about the coolness of the album In through the Out Door, I am sure you remember the weird brown wrapper that felt like a waldbaums bag and the 4 different sleeves inside. Also the sleeves were able to change, if you put water on it a watercolor appeared. Not only did you get all that you got the album too, maybe not one of their best but still. Albums were cool some really sick shit, Kiss Destroyer tell me that didn’t tell a story any Pink Floyd album, come on. But even as late as 87 when Appetite for Destruction came out the original album cover had to be recalled because of the cover. I remember parts of my youth where I spent hours in the Record Stop in Ronkonkoma and buying shit because of the album cover( Judas Priest) or not buying it because of the cover( Poison) or reading Kerrang and Circus Magazine and watching a band before the popped and became huge and I think that because our stupid kids just download they are missing so much and it hurts them. I mean those of you with kids what do they listen too? How did they find it? I know that there are kids out there that do it I mean I know some of them but too many are just so fucking blind to what they are missing. I loved chilling out in my room with headphones on Not ear Pods that ping everything out and listen to a whole album by a band and I did it with all of them I knew every song on every album. I miss albums I miss the liner notes and the cool pics inside, I miss looking for the special release with the poster inside or the stickers or just liner notes. The Crue and this album was made on Jack and krell come on we all knew what they were talking about and doing and it made you feel like part of something. What do we get now; downloads and twitter that is not even run by the band but by a publicist. I love my iPod and all the shit that I have at the tips and I totally use them sometimes for the new and sometimes for the old but I still miss albums. I do like crazy and enjoyed Britney’s crazy and Gaga for a bit that’s all I got for now and hey it’s a long summer some will hit some will miss